Ten things you will never hear from a Pakistani :-)

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Ten things you will never hear from a Pakistani :-)

December 8th, 2008 medigineers

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I got this e-mail today from a friend of mine in Ireland and thought I must share with friends on Doodhpatti–intriguing, interesting, comical at some levels, but dead serious, all the same:One of the most interesting things about the Mumbai terrorist attack was that the terrorists called a TV station and talked to journalists and rambled on and on about their perceived grievances with the rest of the world.

It was very much rambling on their part because half the stuff made no sense whatsoever.In the aftermath of the attacks, with the Indian Government trying to put all the blame on Pakistan, it is interesting to listen to these audio recordings because even a cursory look leaves one in no doubt that the person on the phone is NOT of Pakistani origin. Since the Indian Government has at no point said that these calls were a hoax or were not from the terrorists, we can assume for now that they were indeed originating from Nariman House and Mr. Imran (how unoriginal a name! I bet one of the other names that the Indian Government releases for the terrorists will be Javed, those two names have been staples of Indian nightmares for a few decades now!) was on the other side.

Bollywood writer Javed Akhtar

Among a lot of Hindi words that ‘Mr. Imran’ used, the following 10 are least likely to be used by a Pakistani, Punjabi or otherwise:

1.	*Julm :*	as an exasperated Javed Akhtar pointed out to someone on Indian Idol, don’t butcher the language; it is zulm not julm and no Pakistani would EVER say julm.
2.	*Jiadati :*	ditto – its ziadati
3.	*Jindagi :*	indzagi, you moron!
4.	*Naita :*	naita !! who would call a politician a naita in Pakistan? Siyasatdan dude !
5.	*Itehas :*	err … history is tareekh for a Pakistani, not itehas no matter how many Bollywood films you’ve digested !
6.	*Shanti :*	aman, not Shanti ! Shanti for Pakistani’s means ‘ugly Indian woman‘ !!
7.	*Parsaran :*	a word we used to make fun of while listening to Hindi commentators on TV…”match ka seedha parsaran” !! Definitely not in any Urdu dictionary.
8.	*Atank Waadi :*	what? if he’d called himself a ‘khalnayak‘ too, it would have made my day !
9.	*Anayai :*	that’s un-ay-i. Don’t know what a Pakistani would say, ziadati I guess !! not in any Pakistani’s vocabulary anyway.
10.	*Paatshala* :	no I’m not making that up. He actually called a school that !!

and I haven’t even mentioned the ‘shuction‘ (section) and ‘meray ko‘ and ‘tumharay ko bol rahay hain na‘ and ‘mudhbhir‘ and a host of other very Indian vocabulary that this guy was using.For a listen goto You Tube:
Video – 1: http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=QhO6rynb1C8
I think if the blame has to be put on Pakistan for any and every terrorist activity that happens in India they can at least do us the courtesy of teaching these people proper Urdu or–let Javed Akhtar make the phone calls in future !